So many couples put off divorce and separation because it's just not the right time. You know what – there will never be a perfect time to go through such a disruptive change in your family's life. If the upcoming holidays are giving you pause, don't. If you know in your heart that your marriage isn't good for anyone, don't put it off another day – that's not good for anyone. Here, you'll find a few tips that can make splitting up before the holidays a little more bearable.
Talk it Out
Breaking the news to the kids can be the most difficult step in a divorce. Knowing that their little worlds are about to be flipped upside-down will make this one of the hardest things that you've ever done, but it could end up being the wisest.
Discuss the option of going to a family counselor before you tell the kids. You may want to go with your spouse without the kids beforehand to gain some advice on how to proceed and to learn what to expect when you do bring the kids with you.
Having a counselor involved will help you find the right words and help you understand what the kids are feeling at that time. You will all pick up the tools that you need to maintain a healthy relationship during the divorce and after it is finalized.
Don't Forget Santa
For many kids, the fear of Santa not filling their stockings and loading under the tree with gifts is real. The kids don't understand that "Santa" will find them anywhere that they may be on Christmas Eve.
To eliminate some of the concern, sit down with the kids and have them each write Santa a letter. This isn't the wish list letter – it's more like a change of address notification for Santa and his elves. Mention in the letter that there will be a light in the window of your little one's bedroom on Christmas Eve to help light the way for Santa.
Deciding custody issues around the holidays is awful for everyone – nobody wants to be away from their kids for Christmas, so make sure that you've worked out the scheduling beforehand. If this becomes a battle between you and your spouse, work with the family attorney to come up with a solution that everyone can live with.
Your divorce attorney will help you through each step of the divorce process and with anything that may arise in the future – like custody issues around the holidays. If in doubt, turn to the professional for advice on how to proceed without messing things up for the future.
Share3 November 2018
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