When you're getting divorced, Christmas and other special events may be some of the last things you want to think about. If you have children together, however, planning the details of these days can help prevent arguments and misunderstandings with your ex that make life harder for your youngsters. If the two of you are having trouble even being in the same room together right now, you can set up a specific events schedule with the assistance of a mediator or your lawyers.
Making Exceptions to the Normal Schedule
You and your soon-to-be-ex may have already figured out the details of joint custody or an arrangement for one parent to have sole custody and the other to have regular visitation. Holidays, birthdays and vacations can present problems, however. If the usual schedule never allows one of the parents to have the kids on Thanksgiving, for example, that may be troublesome to the parent who feels left out.
Requesting exceptions at least several months ahead of time, or setting up a schedule that alternates certain special days between parents, can resolve this problem.
Working Within the Schedule
You may find ways to cooperate without actually changing the normal custody or visitation days. For instance, even if one of you never is with the youngsters on Christmas, that parent may be happy to spend time with them on Christmas Eve instead. You each have the chance to set up your own family traditions to make the holiday enjoyable for everyone.
Avoiding Competition
You may want to allow your children to have some input, but definitely avoid any temptation to turn this into a competition with your ex. That means not always coming up with an extravagant plan for a birthday or a holiday that entices a child away from the other parent.
Communicating Effectively
Say one of your children really wants a particular present for his or her birthday. You and your ex must decide which parent buys this gift for the youngster. Perhaps you can make it a shared gift. If not, you need to coordinate the gift buying so both of you don't pick up the same items.
This is just one example of situations that can make your children feel uncomfortable if you and your ex don't communicate effectively.
Doing the Best for Your Kids
Cooperating with your ex-spouse and being willing to compromise is important for your children's emotional well-being. Start addressing the special events schedule as soon as possible in the divorce process so everything is set up far ahead of time. That way, everyone knows what to expect and can plan accordingly.
For more information, check out companies such as Fleishman Law Office SC.
Share12 March 2015
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